--grsft


GRRAAaaaaAASGJKJKS-tssft!  RAAAAA-tshtt - RSaaaghhhsthz-t-

...

- rrrrrnnghhhhh.....  -kssthzz-  kkktzzhhhhh-!

Howlback, reporting in for room assignment and whatever counts as a briefing anymore. I need to know my current assignment as well – other then not slagging anyone, of course. How dull.

I arrived a few days ago, and as per my previous functions, I took it upon myself to evaluate base security before I made my arrival public. I may not be able to slag anyone for this, but pointing out their failings as vindictively as I can is the next best thing, I suppose.


Base Security Report

The external of the base was, perhaps, the most effective part of the security system I encountered. The greenish energy shield, while allowing me to pass (something I was rather understandably hesitant to try myself,) kept out that giant purple…thing lurking outside quiet well indeed. (Was it just me, or did that garish monstrosity look like Lord Megatron?)

Fortunately, the Gaudy Green Purple Giant didn’t spot me, as I wisely took another path around.

The ease in which I was able to slip onto ‘base’ itself was rather appalling, if I do say so myself. I am, of course, aware of the fact that the bases are allied and ick joined together, but the fact that my arrival didn’t even turn any heads was very…revealing.

The Autobot section was even easier to enter without anyone so much as looking in my direction. Probably due to the Nemesis’ locked-down status at the time, but even that wasn’t very hard to slip around. (Vents. Why do we even /have/ vents? Especially ones large enough for me to walk around in fully upright? Primus slag, I found signs of /others/ traveling through and even living in the vents!)

But as I found no signs of current habitation within the ventilation system, as well as motion and infrared sensors (all easily avoided, as they certainly didn’t take my stealth abilities into account when designing the system,) I am hoping that the threat has been taken care of by this point.

And despite my delay in revealing myself, I did do as Lord Megatron asked and sought out those disgusting little Bombshell clone drones, though I somehow missed the joined battle against them. A pity, for it sounded glorious. There were a number of them in the vents on the Nemesis, and I took out all that I encountered. Nasty little cretins, though. Some where significantly larger then Bombshell himself which I would have greatly appreciated having been informed of, as I nearly lost a foreleg in the process of learning that for myself. …they did, however, seem to be most oddly proficient in their dancing skills.

Anyway, base security is slag, and I need a room, preferably with a massive stash of energon. I’m too under-energized for this.

Howlback here. I've arrived on this puny little planet, as per the orders I received by broadcast, with a relative minimum of difficulty.

I would greatly appreciate some accurate coordinates so I might close in on the base, as well as information on the current status of the war effort, as I have picked up signals from a distressing number of still living Autobots here on this rock.

And as it seems we communicating using this backwards organic tech, I have acquired an account on this...journal...thing, using a human 'song' ironically similar to my own translated designation as the moniker. Hush, fools: it amused me at the time.

This song...I am sure the organics are either merely obsessed with it, or they know of my arrival are already attempting psychological warfare, for it is playing over and over on that pitifully primitive 'radio station' filled with the repetitive moronic drivel they call 'music'. ...And considering my receiver controls were damaged on terrain impact, and the 'radio' is constantly playing in my data banks - I can't even change the frequency channel! - it was only a matter of time before this pink human's unending screeching brought me to my metaphorical knees.

I've never seen or heard of such an effective torture technique. (I must be sure to incorporate it into my already impressive regimen of...information gathering techniques. It could prove useful in the future, yesss... *purr~* ...So long as I remember to off line my audio receivers first, of course.)

So. Who must I kill to make the the music stop?